In this moment of celebrating the foundation of our home nearly being completed, following what felt like a never-ending winter, I thought I would reflect on foundations. We all know the symbolic meaning of foundations. We know the importance of a strong, solid foundation, without which, anything else that is built upon it is weak, unsteady and will topple with the first storm. We apply the symbolism to many areas of our lives: children need strong foundations, marriages need strong foundations, education must build on an existing foundation, and on and on. I never realized the amount of precision that must accompany building a new foundation- the ground can not be frozen, but also can not be too muddy and wet; each wall, post, door etc. must be measured and leveled just so, because, as my husband explained, what is half an inch difference on the ground will end up half a foot difference at the roof. In other words, little things add up.
I think about my own life and how fortunate I’ve been. My parents gave me an excellent foundation. I knew I was loved and secure and from that I was able to learn and grow. Because of my own sense of self worth, I attracted people who treated me the way I knew I deserved. Of course I’ve gone through hard things, hurt feelings, doubts and insecurities, but they don’t go as deep because in my core I am beloved. I compare that experience to that of our foster baby, or the many children I’ve known over the years who started off their life unhealthy in a variety of ways, that unhealthiness led to stress, the stress overwhelmed the people around them, the stress of the people around them confused the developing little one. A physical therapist explains to me how a baby with GI troubles will tense her body to try to relieve the pain, she will hunch her shoulders to protect her airway from the reflux that threatens her. She will over-flex certain muscles and under-use other ones. What seem like minor compensations now will continue to be affirmed, if not corrected early, and turn into major compensations leading to problems in coordination, strength, even basic motor skills. In other words, little things add up. When hard things happen to children without a strong foundation, it will be even harder for them.
The best marriage prep book my husband and I read emphasized the importance of prioritizing the first year of marriage. It said the patterns and rhythms we create during this first year will create the habits that will be harder to break later on- whether good or bad. We were nowhere near perfect, but I am grateful for intentionally prioritizing each other during our first year of marriage.
As a teacher I am well aware of the moments when learning “explosions” seem to take place. There are vocabulary explosions in early childhood, literacy, math etc. all have moments where enough connections have been made that suddenly all the connections spin into a spider web of multiple understandings…if the child can get to that place of enough foundational connections.
So, as we waited through the painstakingly long winter for the precise time to begin to build, I’ll remain grateful to know that our house is built on a strong foundation.