Happiness

In high school, I heard a talk that was one of the very few talks that I still think about regularly. It was about Father Spitzer’s philosophy of happiness. At the time, I didn’t know anything about Father Spitzer, who was the then president of Gonzaga where I ended up attending a few years later. At Gonzaga, I heard him speak many more times, found out he has a Ph. D in philosophy, and most of those talks were well over my head. Somehow, in his book Healing the Culture, he manages to categorize happiness in a way that makes a lot of sense. I thought I would try to summarize his “Commonsense philosophy of happiness” because I think it is helpful to remember and seek out that which brings a more profound happiness.

Father Spitzer categorizes happiness into 4 levels. Each level builds on each other to the next level. None of the levels are inherently bad, but each becomes a problem if we seek the majority of our happiness from that level.

In level 1, happiness comes from physical pleasure and material things. So, any of the things used by our senses belongs in this category- eating a delicious meal, hearing a beautiful song, seeing lovely things, and of course, possessing material stuff. Again, this level isn’t bad by itself. It is good that an ice cream cone makes me happy for awhile. It is good to hear, see, touch etc. good, created things. However, I think we all recognize the problem with level 1 happiness- it is not long lasting. I need another ice cream cone, another song, the next iPhone, an even bigger house. The problem with each level is when that level becomes our end; when I seek all my happiness from that level, I reach a crisis. The level 1 crisis is boredom. Our culture is insane about this level! From everywhere, I hear messages to seek my happiness in this level. If I’m not happy, it can be fixed by something material, some kind of comfort. I’m always saddened by the billionaires and celebrities who have been fed this lie and believe it. It’s never enough and we witness how unhappy so many of them are, yet we also fall into this lie ourselves regularly. Or, at least, I do.

In level 2, happiness comes from competition. When I am the best at something I feel happy. When I win the game, perform a solo, get my master’s degree, become the most beautiful I feel happy. Again, this level is not inherently bad. It is good to seek excellence. It is good to better ourselves. However, if we seek all our happiness from this level- we can only view others with jealousy (she’s better than me) or with arrogance and contempt (I’m better than her). To avoid this crisis, level 2 happiness should lead us to the next level.

In level 3, we use our talents and gifts that we cultivated in level 2 to contribute to others. Level 3 happiness comes from when we give of ourselves to someone else. Level 3 happiness sounds a bit like a paradox. How can I be happy by giving to others, even sacrificing for others? However, when I reflect on my experience, my reality, it’s pretty true. When I think back to the times I was happiest in my life, they were times of doing hard work for others- being a camp counselor, serving in Honduras, being a teacher to that kid going through a particularly rough time, having my own kids, volunteering. I hope you have had this experience. A priest with Con-solatio, the organization with whom I went to Honduras, tells us that the poor should be our teachers. I have had this experience of being taught by the poor ones, the little ones. I should write a whole blog post about my experience volunteering with L’Arche- a community of developmentally disabled and able-bodied adults who all live together in community. If you want to tangibly feel joy pouring out the windows of this house- go find a L’arche house in your area! You don’t need to work in a service field to give of yourself. In fact, I think one of the reasons quarantine was so hard on all of us- was that we were not able to give of ourselves in all the normal, little ways- holding a door for a stranger, tipping our waitress extra, smiling at the person clearly having a bad day. This orientation towards the other, rather than inward, changes something profoundly in our hearts.

Now, just like all the levels, level 3 can also lead to crisis. I can’t solve every problem and I can’t carry the weight of the world. If you are someone who believes in a good, loving higher power, level 3 can lead you to level 4. If you do not believe in a good, loving higher power I think we can still agree that seeking happiness in level 3 brings about a deeper and longer-lasting happiness than does seeking it purely in levels 1 and 2.

In level 4, our happiness comes from surrendering in humility to an unconditionally loving higher power. It’s not perfect. We still will not be perfectly happy in every moment, in fact we might suffer much, but again, when I think back on my experiences, there was something much greater than me at work.

Once we understand these definitions of happiness, it can change the way we define countless other very important words- success, love, quality of life, suffering, even the way we define what it is to be a human person. A successful person with this definition would be someone like St. Francis who gave away all his riches to serve the poor. Love would be defined not by feeling good (level 1) but by giving yourself to someone (level 3). Someone’s quality of life is not diminished by being poor (level 1), disabled (level 2), but is measured by their capacity to contribute to others, and let me tell you, I have been served the best by people who are very poor and very sick. If I am living for happiness in level 1, then suffering is to be avoided at all costs, because it is completely meaningless. In level 2, I can tolerate suffering, but only as a means to get better- I can work out to be stronger or study to be smarter, for example. In level 3, when I suffer, I can see it as an opportunity for someone else to give to me. I think this is very important and lacking in our culture. We have a very hard time receiving help, love, and allowing others to sacrifice for us. We are terrified of being a burden. Yet, if we could remember that it truly is a gift for someone else to serve us, not only can our suffering be eased, we can help someone else learn the joy of giving of themselves. I have limits and weaknesses and this causes me suffering, but rather than staying with the shame of my weakness, I can allow someone the gift of helping me.

I hear a lot of messages in our culture about doing what’s right for you, about seeking excellence and bettering yourself, about the importance of independence. I hear the words success and love thrown around with a level 1 and 2 definition. I hear about the wealth and power of our country, yet, our country’s rates of depression and mental health keep declining in alarming rates. I wish I heard more messages about giving of ourselves to others, even when its hard. Our youth have to be taught, and then experience, where happiness can truly be found, and it’s not in levels 1 and 2. This is something that the poor and little ones can teach us.