The season of Advent in the church’s liturgical calendar is a season meant for waiting and preparing. I’ve become pretty good at preparing for events over all my years of teaching and program planning. However, waiting, is another story. Maybe because there isn’t much anymore on which I need to wait. If I have a desire, I can usually fulfill it pretty quickly. It gets even more difficult to wait when I don’t know how long I am to be left waiting. Remaining prepared takes on a new level too, when the event for which I am preparing has no firm date. We wait and prepare during the season of Advent because we attempt to step into the shoes of our Jewish ancestors of the faith, who were awaiting a messiah to save them. They were an oppressed people longing to be set free, unsure how much longer they would be left waiting.
When our first foster baby moved on to her relative in August, we decided we needed two months to mourn her loss and prepare again for another baby. The planner/preparer that I am, wrote ‘email homefinders’ in my planner for the first week of October. When that week came around, however, my husband was starting a brand new job and the changes had us all overwhelmed. The next week, I was really sick, the week after that we had no running water for 24 hours and a hundred problems with trying to build our house were coming to a head, the week after that my daughter was sick. During this time, I bought a new carseat, organized the baby bottles by size, and talked to my kids lots about a new baby, so they too could prepare their hearts. Finally, on November 1st I emailed homefinders and washed the crib sheets. I expected a call within a day or two and I was prepared. Each morning when I woke up, I would think through the day and plan what I would have to shift around if today were the day that we go pick up a new baby who will inevitably change our lives for the better. It’s pretty exciting to meet someone you know will change your life! Today is the 19th. Such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, yet I am finally remembering what it is to truly wait. My kids have to wait for things much more often than I do. They wait by constantly thinking of it, “how many more days until my birthday?” gets asked multiple times a day. They wait by longing for it, “that’s soooo long.” They wait by being ready each moment, “is it today? I forgot how many days.” They keep their longing close to their hearts and I think we should become more childlike in this way.
I am reminded of Mary during my time of waiting. I am amazed by her ‘yes’ to bear the son of God. Mary would herself have been waiting for the Messiah to save her people from their suffering, though I’m sure she had no idea she would be the one to bear him. Her waiting didn’t cause her to stop living her life, on the contrary she was making plans to marry. When the angel appeared to her with such altering plans, she could have said ‘no.’ Surely, the timing seemed poor, surely someone else would be better suited, but she said a world changing ‘yes.’ From there she went ‘in haste’ to someone else in need, her cousin Elizabeth- an old woman who is also pregnant. She hears the news of her cousin’s need and, again, alters her plans to be present to someone else. She is the model of availability to me. I felt very prepared to take in a baby that first week of November. I had made as little plans as possible in order to be able to say ‘yes’ and be attentive to a new little one in our home. The second week had some extra plans, and this third week even more. Each day I’ve tried to have my back up plan, my standby people to watch my kids, my house in tip-top shape in case the social worker comes straight to our house…as each day passes, however, I’ve become a little more lax. The longing and the waiting rush back to me every time the phone rings, but my preparedness has begun to wane. The scripture readings during the season of Advent are all about being prepared, staying awake, being ready for Jesus to surprise us all again with his coming. I understand better how easy it is to “fall asleep” ie to let the house become a mess, to not plan my backup plan for picking up a baby, to get too busy with distractions. How long do I have to “stay awake?” Staying prepared adds to my impatience in waiting. I am tempted to cry out like the psalmist “How long, Oh Lord, must I wait?” yet I realize how ridiculous and dramatic that makes me. The psalmist was waiting to be saved from wars and oppression…I am excited to love a baby. The Jews kept their longing for a savior throughout generations…I have been waiting 19 days. Whenever we get the phonecall and say, ‘yes,’ I know there will be plans to be altered, space to be made in our day and in our life. I know the timing won’t be perfect and I know I’ll be slightly overwhelmed by my weaknesses and inability to love a new baby as perfectly as he or she deserves. But I know we will make ourselves available and I know we won’t regret it. But what about the surprises for which I haven’t planned my back up plan for the day? What about the callings which don’t involve a literal phonecall? Will I be ready to go ‘in haste’ to help someone in need? Would I recognize this surprise, this interruption, as my savior? This Advent is a good time to reflect on that…by preparing and waiting.