I was hiking during my monthly retreat and thinking of my friend who had gotten into bird watching. The birds that appeared to her even helped her answer life’s questions when she looked up the symbolism. I was lost in thought, wishing a bird would appear with the perfect symbolism to answer my own life questions when…I was startled by a turkey flapping and crossing the path in front of me. I laughed out loud-a turkey…not exactly the majestic bird I was imagining! Once home, I looked up the symbolism and found that turkeys are symbolic of abundance. This year the family of turkeys that lives nearby had around 25 babies- in 2025 the turkeys themselves were in abundance! We are so blessed to live on land surrounded by nature and life. In the spring the ground seems to hum with the buzzing and bustling of insects and small creatures. I stand at the foot of a hundred foot pine tree and look up and I must see a thousand pine cones- in one tree. Life ready to multiply. Deer eat our clover. Hummingbirds by the dozens drink from our feeder. Wildflowers bloom. Trees change colors. It is astoundingly beautiful. But it is also dirty, literally. Some plants are prickly. Wasps sting. Ticks bite. Carcasses are found. Oh, and this year, a rattlesnake took a nap on our porch. Sometimes, I understand the impulse to put up a giant wall and spray poison everywhere to keep all those bad things far away!
“I just realized something. All our foster babies have made us make friends,” my son said to me as we were driving away from visiting JB’s brother’s family. My heart swelled at the truth of his words. We’ve said ‘yes’ 3 times to loving a foster child, and each time the circle of those we love has multiplied by much more than the one child. Life is beautiful, but it’s even more beautiful when it’s shared. Isn’t it an amazing paradox that giving of ourselves, brings so much joy in return? And that joy makes other people love more. And on and on it spreads. However, we’ve also been hurt by people we’ve let into our circle. We’ve experienced pain and loss. Harsh words and false accusations create the impulse in me to cut those people out and, sometimes, even to reconsider letting anyone new in. The problem with walls and poisons, whether real or metaphorical, is that very often they also keep at bay the abundance of life. I regularly feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. When the counters are sticky, I just stepped on cereal on the floor, the baby is crying, the toddler spilled something, I forgot to set the oven timer, the cat is scratching our screen door again, M has been waiting patiently for homework help and J is trying to tell me some story oblivious to the chaos…I get a little crazy and my patience wears thin. But then, there are moments where: I hear M and our last foster child giggling in their room past bedtime, JB copies the kid’s dance moves and a spontaneous dance party happens in the living room, J says a joke that gets everyone rolling on the floor laughing, M sends her Halloween candy with our foster child because she would rather share her sweet things than hoard it, and I feel like I’m standing at the foot of the one pine tree again looking up at the thousands of pine cones ready to multiply-only it’s joy that is exponential.
I could spray poison on our land. I could decide we’re done saying ‘yes’ to new children. Those things might keep out some of the painful nature. It might help with some of my moments of overwhelm and might protect from new hurt feelings or pain. But, I might risk hurting our wildflowers. I might decrease the size of our circle of those we love and thereby decrease those moments where my heart could burst with joy. And that is far too great a risk when such an abundant life has been offered.