Three of the most creative people I know have something in common- they did not have tv growing up. One childhood friend, in particular, had the most exciting imagination- I loved going to her house to play because she invented the best games and stories. I never thought about tv when I was at her house. I didn’t think about this connection that these creative friends had until I was a young adult and began to find the tv to be a source of depression for me. I’ve always been pretty attuned to my feelings and I started to notice the background noise of tv causing me to feel a sense of tightness, even stress, just from having to think or talk over the noise. I also started to notice, particularly after some wonderful seasons of making friends, growing, and learning without tv around, like while at college or summer camp, that coming back to watch other people’s stories- whether real or fiction was less than satisfying. Reality had just been so amazing during these seasons, that “not reality” was either too disappointing or too jarring. I vowed when I had kids I wouldn’t have a tv in the house so they could grow and be as creative as my childhood friends. Then 2020 happened. My kids’ movie intake had been steadily increasing anyway, my facebook consumption as well, but then political strife had me reading way more news articles than ever before, we were thrown into a year where everything from school, to church, to talking with friends, to fundraising events were done virtually…plus everyone is home all the time….plus ‘unprecedented event’ after ‘unprecedented event’ left me anxious and obsessed with finding out everything I could and, therefore, constantly refreshing news sites. Ugh, I’m exhausted just typing about it. “Conveniently” all these things can be accessed now from one device…leading to that one device being tied to my body as clearly as any ball and chain I can envision.
In 2019, I read Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. More recently, I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix (although getting rid of the Netflix subscription we had shared was one way we downsized our media consumption). I want to share some of the ideas presented by them, because I think much of it could be helpful in informing our decisions with technology, especially this still rather new technology of social media. The internet is a wonderful tool- it has many beneficial elements and my husband is quick to call me a luddite when I ignore the positive possibilities. However, the internet is still a new invention, which means, I believe, it has changed our lives quicker than our ethics can keep up with it. As a tool, it has the power to build up and the power for destruction.
Social media is incredibly addicting. Why? Because everything in us lends us to needing and seeking connections with other people. Our biology, our souls, our very being needs community or we, literally, experience trauma. Social media gives us a small dose of that connection, but just like a drug, it’s not satisfying or substantial enough to leave us truly connected and fulfilled, so just like a drug we need more and more. The Social Dilemma explains how the addictive nature of social media is intentional. The algorithms they have created use our very own needs against us to keep our eyeballs on the screen for as long as possible. The statistics around social media use and mental health are terrifying, particularly the studies that have been done with teenagers (whose brains haven’t fully formed). Everyone laments the growing mental health crisis in our country and, of course, social media is the only cause, but there is plenty of evidence to suggest that social media has exacerbated an already growing epidemic.
Cal Newport says, one important step in taking control of our digital usage is knowing very concretely for what purpose we are using each technology. He points out that most of us signed up for facebook for the vague notion of keeping in touch with acquaintances- but had we known that we would end up spending a couple hours a day on this technology, we might have put more thought into it before we signed up. If we would like, for example, to see pictures of our friend’s baby, we have to be very intentional about this and consider if whether facebook is actually the best medium for this to happen. If the cost of looking for pictures of our friend’s baby is two hours a day of our life, most of us would agree that cost is way too high. We have to remember the addictive nature of these tools and admit that we might not be strong enough and maybe we can ask our friend to email us pictures of their baby. An article I read many years ago, which aligns with Cal Newport’s message, said the good we get from facebook can be received in about 20 minutes a week. Think about the language we use when we talk about how much time we spend on social media- we literally call it ‘doom scrolling.’ We know that what we are doing is not good for us, we sense it, yet we can’t stop!
Another important piece of advice Newport gives is to remember an old love or find a new love. He doesn’t believe we’re capable of just plain cutting out harmful technology cold turkey. We have to replace that time with something more fulfilling- Did you use to paint? Do you love to read, but can’t find the time? Do you enjoy walks outside? Puzzles, scrapbooking, scheduling phone dates, the possibilities are endless, but especially when first “withdrawing” he claims we must rekindle an old love to re-fill the space that technology has taken. He also advises connecting with people in ways that are meaningful and more fulfilling than a “like” or a text. Schedule a phone call, plan a real visit, write a letter- these fulfill our need for connection much more profoundly than the superficiality of texts and social media.
For me, the most compelling reason to assess and re-assess my technology habits is the reason of time. Our time is so precious and limited. I regret how much of my life was wasted in 2020 checking news sites and ‘doom scrolling.’ There are so many things that I am aware give me considerably more joy, but I claim I don’t have time for these things. Many people become restless in silence and times of letting their mind wander. I actually love it. I feel my most creative and hear my creator most keenly in times of free spaciousness- going on a walk alone, sitting by a fireplace, sitting on a patio, taking a bath. At one point I even named the thoughts that come to me in these moments- my “old man sitting in a rocking chair” thoughts, since I envision an old man sitting on his porch all day and contentedly watching the happenings in the street around. One thing I realized with my technology habits was that even if I wasn’t actually filling these moments with social media, it was still affecting these moments- my mind was wandering to an outrageous political claim someone had made or I was less focused on the current moment with my kids or husband because I was anxiously awaiting to refresh a news site. Screen time was affecting my time that I spent on social media, but it was even affecting my time not on social media. There is so much noise in this world. Most of us feel pulled in so many directions without social media flashing a notification at us or a “breaking news” story demanding our attention. Most of us feel constantly distracted because we looked at our phone to check the time, saw an email that needed a response, remembered the text that we meant to send this morning and somehow wound up on facebook for 20 minutes. Let’s free ourselves from the tyranny of this need to be “connected” at all times. Let’s allow ourselves to think free of the noise and instant demands.
There are many ways to use technology intentionally for good, but we have to be wary of its ability to control and manipulate us. If we are the ones in control, we will be able to use the various technologies to deepen our connection with others, to learn about our world, to share beauty and light in ways that were never before possible to such an extent. Let’s work toward that!