Our experience of church has felt pretty distinct for many of us this past month. I’ve been thinking a lot about church lately and wanted to share my thoughts. First though, let’s define our terms a little bit. I think many of the arguments that happen about this topic occur because often we don’t mean the same thing when we use the word, ‘church.’ The church can be a building. When I say, “I am going to church,” I probably mean the building. If this, however, is the only way we know how to use the word ‘church’ our understanding of this profound mystery is sorely lacking. Now I know most of you do not get the same thrill that I get by discussing models of ecclesiology, but bear with me. There are many models or images that have been used to describe ‘church.’ The church I’m describing now is not the building, but the people. We can imagine the church as Institution to help us feel the sense of order that God wants us to experience. This model gets a pretty bad rap, but there is a beauty that comes from structure. Some models (these come from theologian Avery Dulles) can describe church as the Body of Christ, similar to St. Paul’s description. We all have gifts that are different but important and together we are united in one body, though we are distinct individuals. Another model is the Servant Church, in this church structure, the leaders are called to be servants following Jesus’ example of washing his disciples’ feet. The Catholic Church has long called the family the domestic church. What the family does should be what the church does: educating, serving, forgiving, going out from itself to its neighbors, praying and worshipping God. (These models, by the way, are not mutually exclusive, but they do influence our spirituality).
All of these models describe something that is mystery, so all of these descriptions fall short. My experience this last month has been unexpectedly powerful. I have grieved the loss of my local church, the community that we are used to seeing each week, my son high-fiving our pastor with all his might, and most especially, the sacraments-this precious gift where we experience divinity with our senses. However, losing temporarily our local church community, has allowed for a more profound experience of our global church community. Pope Francis gave a blessing usually reserved for Christmas and Easter, called the “urbi et orbi” (to the city and to the world). I watched live on television as he gave this blessing to an empty St. Peter’s square in the pouring rain, and by some grace I felt connected to all those suffering the many consequences of this pandemic, I felt connected to all those watching this same moment, I experienced a sense of belonging to our world with all of its hopes and failures, generosity and brokenness, joys and sorrows.
I am blessed to have found a spiritual family in Heart’s Home, a Catholic ministry that ministers with their presence to bring God’s presence. They are based out of New York and while I regularly keep in touch, well, New York is still not exactly close. During this time they have offered reflections, prayers and Mass online. What a joy it has been to feel so close to my New York community during a time of social distancing where close communities feel far away. When sharing how they are continuing their “ministry of presence” during this time when they can not share their physical presence, they said they have been calling people. They said that they can not share their incarnate presence the way they are used to, but at least they can still share their voice.
These experiences have shown me how complacent I have been in a lot of ways. I am struck how no one in the Gospels recognizes Jesus right away after he is resurrected. It takes a unique moment- breaking the bread, sharing peace or being called by name for Jesus’ friends to realize this is the same Jesus. Maybe God is asking us to recognize Him in new ways, in ways that don’t look exactly the same as before. It may take a greater attentiveness, but I trust that God is appearing.