As I tried to contemplate the grace of this past year, a theme that came to mind was being in the present moment. A priest friend told me recently, that God meets us in the present moment. He is giving us whatever we need: grace, peace, understanding etc. when we meet Him in the present. I am a worrier. I also tend to be in the future ie not the present. I’m always planning ahead, preparing for what is to come and worrying about all the things that are out of my control and that are unknown. Sometimes, I feel my anxiety paralyze me. I love the story of the Israelites wandering in the desert; that each morning God rained down manna for them to gather with the dewfall and it was just enough. If they tried to store it up worrying about the next day, it rotted. Jesus reminds us of this when he teaches us to pray: “give us this day, our daily bread.” Each day, each moment God is caring for us, yet we still want to store up for later, just in case. Just in case what? In case God forgets about us?!
I was pondering recently some times when I’ve felt the most joy and I realized the common denominator: I was living in the present moment. Many of you know I worked at a summer camp for 10 summers. While swimming, hiking and boating are fun activities, it was not ‘fun’ that kept me coming back each summer, it was joy. Camp sets up an environment where it is so much easier to be in the present moment- and what happens when we are in the present? Friendship- true friendship, authenticity (no time to pretend to be someone else), and joy. My time in Honduras was similar- there was certainly still planning that needed to happen, but we lived an organic rhythm of prayer and quality time with people. From that rhythm there was freedom to listen to the call of the present moment (the voice of the Holy Spirit) and change those plans, if needed. When my children were first born, so much of my time was spent just holding their tiny little bodies and gazing at them. I had several people comment with understanding, “you never knew you could just look at someone for so long, did you?” Matthew Kelly says that “love blossoms in carefree timelessness.” He explains, “Our relationships cannot thrive under the pressures of our noisy, busy, fast, modern lifestyles.” I think ‘carefee timelessness’ sounds like the present moment. Love, like grace, after all is a gift. By its nature it is something that can’t be forced or manufactured into existence. How then, can we be more open to this gift of love? I think by living more in the present and trusting that the God of Love will meet us there.
Christmas is my favorite holiday and each year I contemplate the story of Christmas. I imagine Mary, pregnant with so many things to worry about, traveling to a place where she knew no one and could give birth any time. She must have thought each step of the way, “what are we going to do? How is this going to work out?” “A stable, seriously?” “Who are these strangers showing up in my most intimate moments, shepherds, what are they doing here?” Yet each step of the way, in each moment, God took care of her, maybe not in the way she would have planned, but each new sign was a grace and a consolation. She was meeting God in the present moment. She trusted that Love would come. My prayer for you this coming year is that you can have more time being in the present moment, being open to love, and receiving joy. We carry you in our hearts and hope to see you soon.