What I’ve Been Reading Part Two

Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Father Jacques Philippe. This is a very small and very profound little read. I read this last summer, when I felt anything but peaceful. This had so many practical, as well as, beautiful points. Highly recommend.

Boundaries by Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud. Can’t recommend this book enough. This was actually the second time I read it. I read it last fall as I was trying to put my life back in order. I had let other’s urgency add to my own. I remembered I had to guard my free time. I remembered I didn’t have to respond to the text/call/email/person if it was interrupting the present moment. I remembered the importance of saying “no” so I could freely say “yes.” I remembered that, even when it feels hurtful, loving with boundaries is the loving thing to do.

Elevating Child Care a guide to respectful parenting by Janet Lansbury. I’ve read a LOT of parenting/teaching books over the years. So, I can’t say this one is top of my list, and I didn’t realize it is geared for infants and toddlers, but it still had some good points. I think the most important point it had is to validate the child’s feelings. It’s something I’ve been thinking about no matter what the person’s age is. We tend to respond to someone’s pain, anger, fear by wanting it to go away as quickly as possible. This is so unhealthy and it almost never works anyways. We use statements like, “it’s not so bad,” “don’t worry it will be fine,” or worse, “you’re overreacting,” “there’s no reason to be ____.” Does that ever make you feel better? My husband used to compassionately remind me of all the amazing things our kids can do when I would go to him completely overwhelmed by the day and the antics of toddlers. He was truly trying to help me feel better by reminding me of the positive, but it made me feel like I was crazy. I thought I must be doing something wrong, because he was right our kids were good kids overall. Finally, I realized I still needed to FEEL my feelings (of complete overwhelm) without having them dismissed. Ironically, validating someone’s feelings actually helps them work through their feelings faster.

Dancing with a Porcupine parenting wounded children without losing your self by Jennie Owens. I read this as part of a foster care book club for keeping my license up to date. It was a fantastic read. The author shares her experience of adopting some very broken children. Over several years she realizes the need to take care of herself in order to take care of these children better. She realizes she will never be enough to save them, but she can continue to love them, and love them rightly.

Stranger Care by Sarah Sentilles. A dear friend sent me this one shortly after we received our first foster child. It’s a memoir of the author’s experience of her first foster child returning to her biological mother. I couldn’t put it down. It is so compelling and well-written. She has so many beautiful, heartbreaking, and profound insights, such as realizing maybe the person she most needs to love is the child’s biological mother. Now that I am on our mere second foster child, I think she was too quick to judge harshly the foster system based on her one experience, but overall would recommend.

Holiness for Housewives and other working women by Dom Hubert Van Zeller. I am slowly making my way through a stack of books that I think were my mom’s “go-to’s.” With the title of this one, I was very hesitant about what kind of 1950’s nonsense it might contain. I was very pleasantly surprised. First off, it validated my feelings (😊) and spoke of the grueling, maddening, mind-spinning work that raising children can sometimes be. Then, most of it was a reminder to remain in the present moment and stop assuming holiness is somewhere ‘out there.’

Showings by Julian of Norwich. I read this with my former sisters of community over zoom last Lent. We always choose something to read together and last year we chose this woman mystic’s most famous writings. There were times it was slow getting into, as some of her visions border on poetry, and therefore, must be read slowly and meditated upon. I was grateful to have companions to share our reflections with.

The Read-Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie. This school year I started reading aloud to my kids the series that made me love to read in the first place: The Chronicles of Narnia. I absolutely delighted in their begging for “one more chapter pleeease.” I cried when we got to the end of the last book and Lucy is reunited with Mr. Tumnus. My kids spoke of relating to different characters at different times. It was a magical time with my kids. This book was all about the wonderful things that happen when we read books together as a family, not that she had to work hard to convince me. I minored in English in college merely because I love to read. I could go on and on about the importance of the arts. There may not seem to be a lot of ‘practical’ reasons to read fiction, but I believe stories are actually the most important teacher. Along with the author explaining the many benefits of reading together, she gives a lot of practical ways to find the time and create the kind of culture you want to create within your family. I’ll leave you with a quote from C.S. Lewis that sums it all up, “since it is so likely that they (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage.”