Happily Ever After

“I feel like I am a braver person after reading these books,” my good friend said to me in reference to a children’s series that I read to my kids and loved just as much, if not more, as they did. Stories are important. As humans, we tell stories to make sense of our world. We tell stories to find meaning and to understand our place in the world, and to remember who we are and where we’ve been. Humankind has told myths since the dawn of time. Fairy tales appear in cultures from around the world. However, in our modern world, we have an over-obsession with facts. Since the time of enlightenment, empirical data and measurable, quantifiable facts are what matter. Fiction, and especially fairy tales, have been downgraded in value and are only worthy for children (and very patronizingly I might add) or for escapism. But is that really the only value they hold? I believe fairy tales are truer than true. I’m not alone in this. Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkein, and G.K. Chesterton (just to name drop a few) believe fairy tales are actually the truest kind of story that can be told. They believe fairy tales are not just for children, and that not reading them is actually a great detriment to individuals and to the culture at large. I know that probably sounds hyperbolic to many of you so let’s sparse out some reasons why.

What is a fairy tale? The German translation calls them, “Wonder Stories.” They were not written for children, historically. The Grimm brothers collected and compiled fairy tales in order to pass on their culture. Fairy tales, by definition, must have a happy ending. They tend to follow a particular narrative- the princess narrative we are very familiar with: a princess gets into some kind of danger, is saved by the prince and they get married. Another common narrative is the orphan narrative: children are separated from their parents and/or home for some reason and they must overcome many dangers before being reunited with their parents or finding a home and family with new parents. Fairy tales contain elements of magic and fantasy. They are in lands that are similar, but also much more fantastical than ours. If you are wondering about fairy tales you may have heard, that do not have a happy ending, that is because Charles Perrault re-wrote many fairy tales into cautionary tales in 1697. He gave the old fairy tales bad endings in order to teach a moral lesson. The funny thing is he wrote them for the French Court that he considered entirely immoral, so once again, even the cautionary tales were not meant for children, but adults. However, these cautionary tales lose so much of their value when they are reduced to mere moral lessons. I believe real fairy tales, the happy ending kind, actually form someone’s character at a much deeper level than just a cautionary moral tale or moral lesson is capable of doing. Why? Because it is the story our heart longs to be true. Why does culture after culture, generation after generation, keep telling a different version of the same story? For example, Cinderella can be found in nearly every culture throughout multiple centuries.  Because it reminds us of the meaning of our existence. We may feel abandoned and orphaned, we will encounter real evil, we may get lost and confused, but goodness will triumph over evil in the end. There is a true love that is eternal.

“The good guys always win, the good guys always win.” My daughter is closing her eyes, rocking in the fetal position, and repeating this mantra during the scary part of an animated movie. I am not sure where she picked up the mantra, but I wish I had the same reaction when fears overwhelm me. That is the truth that I do believe. I know deep in my soul that love wins; that goodness has the last say; that honesty, courage, justice, beauty, generosity and humility are more powerful than their opposite. But on a day to day basis…I can easily forget it. Because in the short term, I see vengeance win, I see the humble get trampled, I see unfathomable injustice. How can I hold onto hope when the “real world” seems hopeless? If that which is “real” is only what I can see, hear, and feel, then I will quickly lose hope. But, if I can hold onto Truths that transcend what is visible; Truths like each human being has a soul and that there are forces of good and evil, then maybe the deeper reality of existence will poke through. G.K. Chesterton says that fairy tales should re-enchant us. Because the lands are magic and fantastical and full of meaning, they remind us that our real world is just as fantastical and full of meaning, but in modernity, we have reduced reality to our senses. Some people say fairy tales set us up for disappointment, but C.S. Lewis argues that it is the stories that take place in the real world with real facts, but have a very slim likelihood of happening that actually set us up for disappointment. It is the way we read stories that matter. Myths are not science books.  Princess stories are not a marriage handbook. Princess stories form our heart to trust that there is a savior who will awake me from a sleep as deep as death because of that cursed apple, and there will be a wedding feast and we will live in eternal happiness. Anyone noticing the Gospel story for the first time in Snow White? I was surprised when I first saw the connection. The story of salvation written in the Bible is the story that gets told again and again. The deepest of truths are contained in the story, yet many people want to dissect it and focus on whether the supernatural events could have happened, or whether the earth was literally created in seven days. The Bible was not written as a science book or a history book, but some tried to pretend it was, maybe because empirical “truth” has become the only truth that has value. If all that matters is what I can measure and count, then I will be led to great disappointment. Love cannot be measured, hope cannot be seen, wonder cannot be contained in a list of facts. I was always bothered by the saying, “the real world.” It was always said with such a negative connotation. “In the real world, there are bills to pay.” “In the real world, you don’t always get what you want.” Etc. Etc. It took me a while to recognize why I felt so patronized by that saying. Talk of the “real world” made me feel like I was naïve and delusional for hoping for a good change of events, or for trusting people to do the right thing, or for not being afraid to keep trying when something seemed pretty daunting. I clarified my thinking on the “real world” when I worked at a summer camp- out in nature, with children, in a VERY tight knit community. It couldn’t get any more real than that! Nature is more awe-invoking than anything written in a fantasy. If the end of the story in the “real world” is the injustice I see and the cruelty I hear about, then, yes, I am incredibly disappointed in reality. Yet, somehow, against all sense (at least all modern sense) there is a story that I cling to, because that is the most real.

Another critique of fairy tales being read to children has been that they may scare them. I do admit the non-Disney version of fairy tales can have some really dark moments. However, I don’t think denying scary realities helps children to be less afraid. Being, myself, a worrier by nature, I have never been consoled by someone telling me, “there’s nothing to worry about.” So, why would children be consoled by telling them their fears aren’t real? G.K. Chesterton famously said, “Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.” I’ve been against our modern trend to turn anything negative somehow into a positive for a long time. It’s not healthy psychologically and it’s just not real. Sheltering our kids from scary things by denying or downplaying the scary things in the world only adds to their fear and confusion. Fairy tales teach kids what to do when confronted with evil. They will encounter situations or people that are ‘bigger and badder’ than them, but if they have experienced Jack conquering the giant, they will be less afraid. They will encounter people who entice and trick them, but if they have experienced Hansel pushing the witch in the oven, they will be less afraid. If we deny the existence of evil, we also deny the overcoming of evil. Children will eventually face things like: getting hurt, getting lost, being alone, being in a new place, friends who betray them, and eventually, children will face death. If they have already experienced these moments in the “safe” pages of a book, they will be more prepared to face them in their life. There is a very big difference between witnessing violence and injustice that no one is doing anything about on, say, the news or movies that have violence for the sake of violence; verses watching violence and injustice while also watching a character who fights back against the injustice. The latter slowly forms us to respond appropriately to injustice and evil. A good story will make us more sympathetic as we meet characters from another culture (or another world) who think differently than we do. A good story will make us more courageous as we see characters overcome great difficulties. A good story will make us more hopeful.

My favorite stories have a particular theme. There comes a climax that seems insurmountable and hopeless. The battle or monster seems much more likely to win. Then, through some small character, a light breaks through, and somehow that light is enough to vanquish the darkness. I couldn’t end my thoughts on fantasy stories without mentioning The Lord of the Rings. The story of a small, child-like hobbit who saves his world from the darkest of evils. I’ll leave you with my favorite quote from Samwise Gamgee, in the movie version, when it looks like all is lost. “It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you… that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something… That there’s some good in this world, And it’s worth fighting for.”